Nursemaid’s elbow is a common toddler injury…and this is one of the most common ways for it to happen!
Unfortunately, sometimes childhood comes with broken bones, sprains or the common nursemaid’s elbow injury. Best treatment for all three is staying calm, immobilizing the area and seeking medical help. That bubble wrap sounds better and better, right? :)
Suspected Broken Bone or Sprain
- If the injury involves your child’s back or neck, keep your child and yourself calm, and do not let anyone move your child. Call 911.
- If you suspect a broken bone, leave it in the position you found it and splint the injured limb. A splint can be made from boards, broom handles, a piece of cardboard or a couple of magazines wrapped around the injured area. The splint should extend beyond the joint above and below where the suspected injury is.
- Put ice or a cold pack on the area. Do not put the ice or cold pack directly on your child’s skin, place a towel between it. A bag of frozen vegetables works great!
- Stay calm, and try to keep your child calm. Call your child’s medical provider or go directly to the Emergency Room.
- Sprains are very painful and usually swell and bruise fairly quickly. It is often difficult to tell the difference between a sprain and a break. If you are unsure, call your child’s health care provider or head to the Emergency Room.
- Sprains are best treated with RICE (rest, ice, compression, and elevation). Do not put heat in any form on the injured area for at least 24 hours. Heat will increase swelling and pain. Elevate the injured limb and try wrapping it with an elastic bandage. This will help control the swelling…but not too tight! Be sure fingers or toes are still pink and warm!
- Ibuprofen or acetaminophen will help with the discomfort.
Nursemaid’s elbow is a very common injury especially during the toddler years. It is sometimes called “toddler elbow”. This injury usually happens when a child’s arm is pulled when it is extended, so when a parent is holding a toddler’s hand and the child falls, or a parent swings a child while holding his hand or a “wet noodle” toddler is picked up by the hands when he is refusing to go somewhere. This injury is when the radius (a bone in the forearm) slips partially out of place at the elbow. It is common in young children because often their little joints are loose. A child with a nursemaid’s elbow will usually have pain in the elbow and then refuse to use it. There is not a lot of pain after the initial moment, no swelling, and no real deformity. The child will just hold the arm at his side or slightly bent and will often cry if you try to get him to use the arm.
- Apply ice or cold pack at the joint. Remember, not directly on your child’s skin!
- Splint the arm in the position your child is holding it.
- Call your health care provider or go to the Emergency Room.
- The “fix” is simple and quick, usually just a simple movement of the arm. There is very little discomfort with the “fix” and the child will be using the arm again within a few minutes.
- A child who has had this injury is more prone to it again…be careful about lifting a child by the hands! I always cringe when I see a parent swinging their child playing “airplane”!
We parents never want to see our child injured, but sometimes it just is part of life with a child. We can’t protect our children from all injury, but we can provide a safe home and play area and if an injury occurs, we can be prepared. Stay tuned, the best items for a first aid kit is next.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
I will never forget standing next to our oldest daughter as her and my eyes searched the list of names of who made the “A” basketball team. Her 7th grade friends were on the list….but her name was not. I saw her shoulders slump and the tears come. My heart ached as I thought about the disappointment washing over her. In the scheme of life, this was such a minor disappointment, but for a 12 year old girl, it was catastrophic. My initial thought was that the system was flawed. No child should have this much disappointment…why should there be an “A” squad and a “B” squad? I saw her free throws…she made as many as anyone else…maybe they scored her wrong!
Over the years I have seen all four of our children dealing with disappointments, and it has not been easy, but I have certainly gained perspective since that night. I have learned that the disappointments my children have experienced in life have provided the backbone of their successes later. I have learned that “fixing” all of their disappointments actually gets in the way of their growth. The most valuable lesson through disappointment is perseverance. Our kids will always have disappointments in life, there are birthday parties they won’t be invited to, elections they will lose, teams they won’t make, championships that will be lost, denial letters from first choice colleges, and “thanks for applying” letters from jobs. You know that life brings disappointments. How our children learn to handle and use these disappointments will determine how they will handle them later in life. Our response to their disappointments will shape their responses.
So, I shed a few silent tears with her as we sat in the car that night after learning she didn’t make the team with her friends. We talked about the positives of being able to play more on the “B” team and not sit the bench, we talked about meeting some new friends, and we talked about working hard to improve. I watched her work a little harder at her game, make a few new friends and have a fun season. This story does not end with her becoming a star basketball player in high school….she played but sat the bench a lot. But the lessons she learned far outweighed the disappointment she felt that night at 12.
We as parents need to remember that we can’t always rescue our children from sadness, disappointment, and hurt. We never like to see our children suffer those emotions, but preventing them or “fixing” the situation doesn’t really fix anything at all. We need to learn to step back and let our children navigate the disappointment….thus building their will and character. Wrap them up in your love, stand with them shoulder to shoulder and help them embrace their disappointments as opportunities. What a gift to give your child, learning that they will be loved through hardships in life, and they are strong enough to grow from them.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
A spoiled child grows into an adult who feels entitled…how do you strike the balance between wants and needs as a parent?
It is so difficult to see your child upset, disappointed, or wanting something that you don’t feel is necessary or maybe can’t afford. There were many days when I questioned whether we should break down and buy an item that one of our kids “just HAD to have”, fold and give that cookie before dinner to keep the peace, or rescue a child from the consequence of a behavior because their tears broke my heart. There were days that I did…but I know that the lessons the kids learned when I did NOT were much more valuable.
When you bring home your precious baby, that first year there is very little difference between your child’s wants and needs. Everything your child wants IS a need. Your sweet baby communicates those needs loudly and clearly resulting in you feeding, holding, rocking, changing, and responding. As a parent, your quick response to those needs lets your child learn that he is loved and safe. Very important lessons!
Fast forward to a 3-year-old laying on the floor at the grocery store check-out line screaming for a package of M & Ms at 9:00 am. Does he need them? No, but he sure wants them! Is the behavior annoying, do you want to make it go away quickly? Yes, but purchasing the candy may not be the best lesson for your child!
What exactly is spoiling?
As parents we must teach our children how to navigate the world even when there is frustration or disappointment. Think no M&Ms at 9:00 am, not getting your attention when you are speaking with another adult, having to save money to buy those designer jeans, and dealing with sitting the bench during a basketball game. Our children must learn that when disappointment in life happens, when they must wait for something they want, or the world doesn’t revolve around their desires, that life doesn’t crash down around them and that they are still loved. Your child must learn that in life you must work hard, be patient, and “play nicely” to be happy and successful. Being loved does not mean there are no bumps in the road, being loved means you are taught how to navigate them.
Spoiling means your child will learn that they are entitled to things. This entitlement replaces the idea of hard work and patience to get or achieve things. Children who are spoiled often do not learn the difference between wants and needs. Spoiling is never due to giving your child the things he or she needs, the opposite is true. When your child has what they need, good behavior patterns can follow. Children need loving physical contact, soothing when upset, structure, routine, positive words, food, clothing, shelter, medical care, toys, …basics…these basics bring an emotionally solid foundation and feeling of security. How do you prevent the “spoiled brat” that none of us want to raise? How do you strike the balance as a parent? Of course there are times will give our children things they simply want; there is nothing better than seeing the excitement of getting something that is special Of course we are going to fold and stop the “madness” in the grocery store and give in to the M&Ms occasionally. Of course we will respond to the whining….but how do we strike the balance??
- Don’t buy things your child wants constantly. Gifts are important parts of childhood…the holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions are wonderful, exciting times for your child. Receiving a gift every time you walk through Target and see the latest toy is not the best parenting choice. This results in a child who no longer appreciates but expects.
- Delay gratification. Help your child develop patience. It is fine to tell your child “I will help in a minute when I finish this.” “That new Barbie is very nice, let’s write it down on your birthday wish list.” This will help your child learn that his world will not collapse when he does not get what he wants NOW. Delayed gratification teaches the difference between wants and needs and that others have needs too.
- Develop strong values and morals as a family, give together. Raising an unspoiled child is not just about saying “no” to things, it is about developing a value based home. A home that has kindness, generosity, gratitude, hard work, and feelings as its core. Teach what it feels like to make someone else happy. Point out when your child is kind. Start talking about gratitude. Share what you are thankful for each day. A great time is during family dinners or right before bed. Ask your child to share 3 things each day he is thankful for….you share too! Share as a family, donate used toys your child no longer needs, participate as a family in donations to charities…be sure your child is included! This is a great way to teach your child about the joy of giving and appreciation for what he has. There is happiness in appreciation; there is misery in concentrating on what you don’t have.
- Watch how much screen time your child has. Advertising knows how to send the message to your child on what he “needs”!
- Spoiling is not just too many things, it is an attitude too. Don’t give into temper tantrums, this teaches that those actions result in “getting what I want”. Have consistent consequences for unacceptable behavior; try not to fold because it is easier. Parenting is hard work!
- Let natural consequences of life happen for your child…bumps in the road happen, learning to handle that is essential.
- Give your child praise, but praise for specific behaviors or accomplishments. Constant blanket praising results in a child who feels the world owes him this. Let your child learn that positive actions feel good INTERNALLY!
- Give your child chores and responsibility. In the real world, we are all responsible for something. This fosters a good work ethic too.
- Remember, giving your child things does not replace your child’s need for your time.
- Live the values you teach. Your child learns what he sees. Does your child see you buying the newest and the best? Do you show your child that you often sacrifice and delay gratification? Talk to your child about what you want, but demonstrate that you might not need it!
Fostering an environment that doesn’t result in a child who feels entitled is not always easy. There will be times when your child may be unhappy, angry, or even throw a fit, but it is only for a brief time. Giving in affects behavior for the long-term. I am not telling you to make your child’s life difficult. There are certainly times that we will and should indulge our child. But remember, a spoiled child learns that behavior, it is a result of parenting. You cannot love your child too much…but sometimes loving your child means your child will not get everything he wants. :)
Nothing harder as a parent than seeing your child disappointed about something he or she wants but can’t have, but nothing makes you prouder as a parent than seeing your child handle the ups and downs of life with grace and a “can do” attitude.
Take a breath, enjoy the joyful moments of each day, and remember you don’t have to be perfect to be the perfect parent.
Often toddlers who are excited or hurried will begin to stutter…it often will correct itself over time!
I love watching old video movies of our kids. There little faces are darling, but what I love most are their voices. Those sweet “little kid” voices…full of excitement, wonder and curiosity. I can close my eyes and just remember the moment. Often their voices bring back more sweet memories to me than their pictures! The excitement in the videos results in squeals, giggles, and words that are fast and furious….sometimes there might be a bit of stuttering as their little brains worked so much faster than the words could be spoken.
Parents of toddlers will often worry about the development of the occasional stutter, or speech disfluency with their child’s speech. Often this can come off your worry list. Many toddlers between the age of 2 and 5 will have some disfluency when they are excited, there is a lot of stimulation or distraction. It occurs more often in boys. A 2-year-old who starts to repeat syllables or short words and begins to use more words like “um”, “uh” or has long pauses is most likely having some normal disfluency. Most often this disfluency begins when there is a burst of new vocabulary. Children who begin to stutter before the age of 5 usually will not need speech therapy…it will go away on its own. What can a parent do to help???
- When your child begins to stutter or gets stuck on a word, keep normal eye contact and wait calmly for him to finish. Do not jump in and finish the sentence for him.
- Talk in a slow relaxed way. If you are rushed, your child may try to speak in a rush to keep up with you in the conversation.
- Keep a relaxed expression on your face when your child is speaking…if you look frustrated or worried your child will become more self-conscious. If your child senses your worry….he will too!
- Don’t correct him, just repeat the sentence fluently so he hears how it should sound and knows you understood him.
- Have time every day for just casual non hurried conversation.
- If you are busy, your child may feel hurried and pressured to get the whole sentence out fast. If you are busy, promise that in a moment you will sit down to listen, and then don’t break that promise!
- Don’t tell your child to “slow down” or “take a breath”. This only points out the problem and could make him more nervous which can increase the stuttering.
- When your child finishes a difficult sentence, let him know that you are proud and that “Wow, sometimes talking can be tough!” Sympathize with his learning of a new skill.
- Encourage your child to tell you stories that he knows well…ones that don’t take a lot of thought. Have him “read” a familiar story to you.
- Sing lots of simple songs and recite nursery rhymes. Songs and rhymes are usually easier than just free speech.
If your child continues to have stuttering or disfluency at age 3, you might consider having your child evaluated by a speech and language pathologist. Earlier treatment may be more effective. Red flags of a possible more long-term problem with speech fluency often will have some of these signs:
- Tension in facial muscles as they struggle for a word.
- A rise in pitch of their voice with the stutter.
- Real effort noted when trying to speak.
- Attempts to avoid the stutter by changing words or will begin to give up or refuse to speak.
- An increase in stuttering that has become worse instead of better over time.
- Stuttering that continues after the age 5.
So, most often disfluency, stuttering or stammering will correct itself in young children. Be sure and record your child’s sweet little voice…there is nothing like it! It will be wonderful to listen to it in the future; especially during those challenging preteen and teen years…there is something about that voice with the eye roll that isn’t near as sweet…… :)
Talking to your child and using lots of animated facial expressions are important for your child’s language development!
Believe me, hearing the sweet voice of your child say “Ma Ma” or “Da Da” is one of those moments you always remember. Later, I can remember thinking….”Maybe I should change my name, I am tired of hearing ‘MO-OMMMM!’ ” Suddenly it was a two syllable word that rocked the house! Now, I love hearing “Mom” when I get that phone call from college, or one of the kids bursts through the door for a visit! The fact is, language development in your child is exciting and fun, and early development is important. Studies show us that the number of words your child hears is proportionate to the size of his or her vocabulary that is developed. This is through direct spoken words to your child, through conversation or reading, not words heard from the TV or radio, or conversations around your child. Some experts tell us that a parent should be saying 30,000 words per day to their child. Wow, that is a lot of talking! Now I tell you this as a fun fact, not to have you tally mark each word you say to your child! I don’t want to add another task to your day, or worry to your list! The 30,000 per day number does send the message home though that talk is important, and as parents we have to work at talking and reading to our children! In this age of TV, computers, I-Pods and I-Pads, and smart phones; sometimes the spoken word and art of conversation is lost. As a parent we need to bring that art of truly talking with our children back!
What can we do to foster language development in our children?
- Talk to your child! When your infant is looking at you or an object…talk to your child! When your child coos, coo back…this is the start of the art of conversing. Describe what your baby is seeing. Talk about what you are doing during the day. Read stories and talk about the pictures in board books. Studies show that children that hear 30,000 words a day from birth to age 3 have better language skills at 3 but also have an academic edge still in 3rd grade…no matter the socioeconomic level! TALK A LOT TO YOUR CHILD! It can be the great equalizer for academic success!
- Repeat. This helps a child link sound and the meaning of words. By the time a child is about 1, they have most of the sounds that put words together, they just don’t have the words! Repetition helps a child put those sounds into words.
- Always respond to any sound your child makes. When your baby coos, talk back. When your child squeals with a favorite toy, talk about how much your child likes that special toy. When your child babbles and reaches for an item, say what the item is before you give it to your child.
- Play taking turn games. This teaches conversation! Blow on your baby’s tummy and wait for his response. Repeat it again. Play peek-a-boo and other games that encourage taking turns in conversation…cause and effect.
- Eye contact. Your child needs to see your face when you are talking. This helps your child see how the words are formed by watching your mouth. Your smiles, facial expressions and encouragement gives your child positive reinforcement for their attempts in communicating.
- “Motherese” is good! The high-pitched sing-song voice most moms use to talk to their baby is good! Babies like the pitch of this type of talk and the slow pace helps them understand better. Teach Dad how to do it! It tends to come more naturally to Moms.
- Give your child the opportunity to talk. Don’t anticipate every need, allow your child to point and make attempts to ask for what he or she wants.
- Narrate your day. Talk to your baby as you change a diaper, give a bath, cook a meal. Describe what you are doing and what your child is doing.
- Expand your child’s communication. When your child says “dog”, you can say “Yes that is a dog! It is a brown dog!”
- Read. Reading is a great opportunity to engage with your child. Your child will learn more words and will develop a love of books. Hearing the same book over and over helps to make language connections in your child’s brain.
- Go on field trips! Take your child to the grocery, the post office, on hikes…talk about what you see! Watch your child, and see what he or she is interested in or excited about. Talk about that rock or stick he or she picks up!
- Use music. Music encourages your child to pronounce words and practice putting sentences together. Songs also help children remember things…I still can’t put things in alphabetical order without singing my A B C’s! :)
- Play language games. Point and name games like “Where is your nose?” “This is Mommy’s toes, where are your toes?” Helps your child become
- aware of himself and make language connections, plus it is fun!
- Don’t worry but refer early. There is a wide range of normal with speech development. Don’t obsess and worry over your child’s development of speech. Every day work on providing the opportunities to allow your child’s speech to develop. If you have questions or concerns, the earlier you refer for evaluation, the easier most speech delays can be handled.
Language Milestones from The American Speech – Language – Hearing Association
- Baby will startle to sound
- Quiets or smiles when you speak to him
- Recognizes your voice
- Smiles at you
- Babbles and uses sounds with p, b and m
- Makes excitement sounds and unhappy sounds
- Makes gurgling sounds
- Likes music
7 Months – 1 Year
- Likes “peek-a-boo”, “patty cake”, “soo big!”
- Uses “speech” not crying to sometimes get your attention.
- Uses gestures like pointing, putting arms up, waving.
- Recognizes words that you say like “cup” and other common words.
- Starts to follow 1 step directions.
- About the first birthday will have about 2 or 3 words like ball, ma ma, da da, dog.
1 Year – 2 Year
- Points to pictures in a book when named.
- Knows animal sounds.
- Points to a few body parts when asked.
- Can say a two word question or sentence by age 2.
- Vocabulary expanding every month.
2 Year – 3 Year
- Follows two step directions.
- Has a word for almost everything.
- Is understood most of the time by those with him often.
- Speaks in 2 to 3 word sentences.
- Starting to understand concepts like big and little, up and down, in and on.
When do you refer?
- A baby who doesn’t respond to sound or who doesn’t make vocal sound.
- A child who does not point, or wave “bye bye” at 12 months.
- A child at 18 months that uses gestures over words to communicate.
- A child at age 2 or older that only imitates speech and does not speak spontaneously.
- A child at age 2 who can’t follow simple 1 or 2 step directions.
- A child at age 2 who parents are unable to understand at least 1/2 of the child’s speech, or a 3 year old child that a parent cannot understand 3/4 of the child’s speech.
- A 4 year old child who is not understandable by others.
- Don’t sit and worry….refer early. Most speech referrals are made between 15 months and 2 years of age.
Remember, infants, toddlers, and preschoolers are like little language sponges. Talk, talk, talk, and turn that TV off! Your child will soon be yelling “MO-OMMMMM!”….be careful what you wish for!! :)